This week’s been both encouraging and severely disappointing. It’s a sort of duality I’m growing used to. Some projects will go remarkably well and others will crash and burn. Those scenarios occurring simultaneously is confusing but, I suspect, also closer to reality. This week I get to celebrate the first milestone of months of cooperation and dedication. This week I’ve been in a writing slump that makes even writing these blog posts difficult.
I’ll start with the good news:
After about six months of effort and sifting through 150 different submissions. Today, (Wednesday, November 16) my colleagues and are publishing the first issue of Beautiful Losers Magazine. It has completely exceeded all my expectations in both quality and design. All my coworkers, Co-founders Alfonso, and Dario, editor Rairigh, and Art director and magazine editor Niko all lent a hand into creating a product more wonderful than I imagined possible.
Now we finally get to share that work with you. At 1pm EST(10am PST, 6pm GMT) , go to our site Beautiful Losers. There you will find a link to download a PDF copy and will be able to view the magazine directly on the site, all for free. That’s right, free. We put our utmost literary discretion on each piece that appears in the magazine. We feel it represents our vision of literature. We collectively have the possible fool-hearted goal of making/publishing/sponsoring quality writing. It isn’t about demonizing genre writing or isolating those who love supernatural romance novels. It’s about returning to literature devoid of cliches and cheap tricks. It’s about quality over monetary gain. It’s about a plot that never feels forced, that is completely native to the narrative it supports. That’s what we strive for at Beautiful Losers and we want to share this vision with you.
So please go to our website beautifullosersmag.com/ I’ll attach a poll to this post, so let me know what you think!
Onto more bleak news. I’ve fallen into a writing slump. For the past week I’ve been completely unable to write anything. I’ve a short story idea lined up and 150-ish words written. It’s been untouched ever since. Normally my response to this would be thinking “It’s just writer’s block, you’ll figure out what to write soon” or “I’ve just got to write down some ideas and I’ll know where to go next.” Anything to write around the material that was blocking me from continuing to write. The thing is, I know exactly what’s next in the story and I’m prepared to write it. But when I sit down I can’t do it.
Then I thought my inability was related to not believing in the piece, but that’s not right either. I vibe with this story. I believe my story has an important message I think that it is challenging but I think that I have the adequate chops to get it done. Yet I’m still at a loss.
Before I went on my daily walk today, I would have told you it was a creative block. I had a paragraph already written about how I think I’m creatively blocked. I would have went into detail about how I’ve realized my stories lack creativity and how I intend to change that. Although all of that is true, it isn’t the reason that I’ve hit this slump. It’s the grind.
I have a day job. It demands that I work between 8 to 10 hours a day. I don’t hate this job but it also isn’t work that I feel fulfilled about doing. Writing is that fulfillment. I work hard and push to do things that best I can then I go home and try to do the same thing for writing. I think all the weight’s finally caught up with me. I’m ragged. Tried from juggling my day job and a passion that I crave to become a professional in. I’m thankful for my day job of course, for providing me the the ability to work hard at writing without having to starve or suffer through any of the typical “starving artist” deal. At times it’s difficult and I haven’t found out how to console myself about that difficulty.
Until I do, I will find ways to push forward. I refuse to let my ragged self stop me from writing. I don’t exactly know how I’ll do it but I will be writing again soon. I am a writer after all. I’m going to keep writing, I’m going to get through it.